


Henson

by simonsjumpers



Category: In The Flesh
Genre: Band, F/M, M/M, Rickren, Simon and Kieren - Freeform, Siren, in the flesh - Freeform, popstar au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-20
Updated: 2014-12-28
Packaged: 2018-03-02 10:17:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2808830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/simonsjumpers/pseuds/simonsjumpers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>HENSON (name definition): People with this name tend to be creative and excellent at expressing themselves. They are drawn to the arts, and often enjoy life immensely. They are often the center of attention, and enjoy careers that put them in the limelight. </p><p>Kieren Walker is signed to a band. He likes his bandmates. Lisa Lancaster is strong willed but the fans love her. Harvey Wellsley plays the drums like he was born to. But Simon Monroe. Simon is the fire of the band and when they get their name HENSON, they explode into fame.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Teach Me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Dynamicalsystemsandchaos](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Dynamicalsystemsandchaos).



> This is a Secret Santa gift for Dynamicalsystemsandchaos (dynamicalsystemsandchaos.tumblr.com)
> 
> The In The Flesh Secret Santa was organised by Ninjaninaiii (ninjaninaiii.tumblr.com). It was a great idea.
> 
> I decided to go with like this theme of Keaton Henson songs because he brings so much to show.
> 
> I would appreciate feedback very much.
> 
> STAY TUNED BECAUSE SOME CRAZY FLUFFY SHIT WILL HAPPEN I PROMISE
> 
> Also come say hi on tumblr (At the moment I'm 'simonschristmasjumpers' but after christmas I'll be changing back to 'simonsjumpers')

**Teach Me**

_“By all means, give me lessons in my ways,_

_But damn it, don't expect me to change”_

 

Kieren couldn’t believe it. Jem couldn’t believe it. His parents couldn’t believe it, they still didn’t despite Kieren’s attempts to convince them. He’d shown them the email, the letter, even the newspaper headline about it.

BOY FROM NOWHERE IS SIGNED BY A RECORD COMPANY.

“Well this is exciting isn’t it!” Sue said pulling on her seatbelt.

“Yes, it’s not everyday we get to drive to the city as a family.” Her husband replied.

“Dad it’s not everyday Kier is requested for a personal meeting with Alex Scott?”

Kieren didn’t say anything, he just kept kneading his hands in his lap. He was nervous. Mind you he usually was. The call from Rick hadn’t helped this morning. It was nice though that Rick had thought to call.

 

* * *

 

 

 

“You’re gonna be great.” Rick said from down the line.

“Yeah.”

“Ren, it’s just like that time you sang in the legion, for the competition.”

“Rick singing in front of every drunk in Roarton and head-judge Pearl hardly matches up with singing in front of Alex Scott.”

Rick sighed through the receiver, “who is this guy anyway.”

“I’m not entirely sure, I’ve heard of him before but I was on the internet last night and I think he basically owns the entire music industry in England.”

“Shit.”

Kieren’s energy sunk.

“I mean...look don’t worry, you’ll do fine okay, he may not even make you sing.”

“Yeah.”

“I gotta go, my dad’s calling.”

The call disconnected, Kieren didn’t even get to say goodbye.

 

* * *

 

 

 

It had all started three weeks ago. Kieren needed money for art school, his parents couldn’t afford all of the fees and although actually applying was a year away for Kieren, he wanted to be prepared. So he went busking, he’s always had a talent for the arts. He could paint, that was a given, yet he never really knew he could sing. Of course he’d entered the legion competition for a months worth of drinks on the house (although he was too young to drink so didn’t win, by default), but no one had ever said ‘yeah you can sing’. He didn’t count his parents, if Kieren turned into a goldfish his parents would praise him.

He’d seen plenty of teenagers busking on YouTube, they seemed to do alright. So he pulled out the guitar he got four years ago on his thirteenth birthday and applied for a licensee to busk. After a week he was out on the streets singing what could of only been called a very poor cover of Elvis’s ‘You Were Always On My Mind’. A girl watched him for three songs. And he was grateful when she gracefully dropped a fiver into his empty paint can. She’d winked at him and danced with her boyfriend while he was singing, her skirts swishing above her ankles as if she was from the victorian era. Soon the street was filled with dancing people and he’d kicked it up a notch with ‘Dancing Anymore’ by Is Tropical. The throng of dancers danced as if they were a highly organised flashmob, but they were purely spontaneous. Something in Kieren always inspired spontaneity, it was if he exuded it. Couples weaved around each other, each pair revolving together. The girl who’d begun it all threw her head back in exultation, her boyfriend enthralled in her happiness. Through the mass of twisting bodies, Kieren saw someone filming him. He knew it was normal practice to film street performers but this man was different. Dressed in a sharp, stylish suit; he looked as if he’d just come from a business meeting. When their eyes met, the man nodded in appreciation, shut down his camera and left.

Kieren knew now that the man who’d filmed him was Daniel Ames, personal assistant to Alex Scott. Obviously Daniel had shown Alex the footage of Kieren busking and he’d made the spontaneous decision to snap Kieren up. They’d been emails and letters requesting a more official meeting, and that’s where Kieren was going now.

 

* * *

 

 

Alex Scott owned a building, he had his own floor. Floor number 33, not the top floor, the middle. It was said he chose the middle floor so no one could hide from him. That rumour, whatever it meant, was one of the reasons Kieren was so nervous.

He let his family come into the reception with him but he stopped them at the lift.

“Wish me luck.”

“Don’t you want us with you?” Jem said, disappointedly.

“No I’ll be okay.”

“Don’t sign anything son.” His dad said firmly.

“I won’t.”

“You’ll come right back here if he does anything to make you uncomfortable won’t you.” His mum added.

“Yes.”

“Right off you go then.” He smiled and headed up to the meeting room.

 

* * *

 

 

Alex Scott was sitting in a black armchair near the window when he arrived.

“Mr Scott?”

“Kieren my boy, good to see you.”

They shook hands.

“Take a seat.”

Kieren sat in the opposite, overly comfortable, white armchair.

“You know why you’re hear right?”

“I wasn’t sure, the newspapers have been–”

“First thing I’m going to teach you, don’t trust anything the newspapers say. Normal people will, stars don’t. That’s what makes a star.”

Kieren deflated. Perhaps he wasn’t here to be signed then. Maybe whilst busking he’d violated Alex’s copyright or something.

“However, we are in the unusual circumstance that the newspapers are right.” Kieren filled with the same nervous energy from earlier, “there’s obviously a leak in the company who needs to be fired!”

Alex Scott smirked. Somehow Kieren knew Alex was the one who leaked it,for publicity or something.

“You think we’re going to sign you as a solo artist don’t you?”

“I had an inkling.”

“Kieren, we’re not going to, I am sorry.”

Kieren was tired of all this deflating.

“You’re not unique enough. Bet you never thought you’d hear that right. But you’ve got Ed Sheeran’s hair, it’s not fresh enough for the industry.”

Alex Scott paused, sighed and rubbed his temples.

“We do want to sign you though, because you’re fucking talented for a seventeen year old.”

He stood up and stared out of the window.

“And there are only a few like you.”

Get to the point Alex.

“So those few of you, the young and actually talented, we want in a band.”

A band? Kieren had never been in a band. Kieren had never really properly been part of anything before.

“There’s three other people, around your age. Two guys, one girl.”

An actual band?

“Really talented guys too, like yourself.

” I’m talented, Kieren thought, surprised by the revelation.

“And we want you for it, we’ll have to teach you a lot but we think it’s worth the risk. What do you say?”

“Teach me.” He said it without even thinking about it.


	2. If I Don't Have To

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kieren finally meets the other members of the band

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Dynamicalsystemsandchaos.  
> This is a Secret Santa gift for Dynamicalsystemsandchaos (dynamicalsystemsandchaos.tumblr.com)
> 
> The In The Flesh Secret Santa was organised by Ninjaninaiii (ninjaninaiii.tumblr.com). It was a great idea.
> 
> I decided to go with like this theme of Keaton Henson songs because he brings so much to show.
> 
> I would appreciate feedback very much.
> 
> STAY TUNED BECAUSE SOME CRAZY FLUFFY SHIT WILL HAPPEN I PROMISE
> 
> Also come say hi on tumblr (At the moment I'm 'simonschristmasjumpers' but after christmas I'll be changing back to 'simonsjumpers')

**If I Don’t Have To**

_“You seem to know who I am, as though you know just what to do”_

 

His parents were surprised that he was so desperate to do it. But Kieren had never been part of anything before, and he waned this more then anything. Just to be in a band, with people like himself. Who probably made mix-tapes when they were young like he did, and who love the way music cocoons them like he did. Alex Scott had barely even turned on his charm when Kieren accepted his proposition

Three weeks after the meeting, Kieren was moving out of his home in Roarton and moving into a block of posh flats near Alex Scott’s building. All of the band activity would be conducted on floor 66 of the skyscraper, and as they would be working everyday, Kieren would need to be close by. His parents were unsure at first. Yeah, a seventeen year old living on his own in the city would be a problem. But Alex assured them that the five flats on the floor Kieren would be living in were occupied by the other band members and a guardian. Also one of his assistants would be taking them to and from work each day. Alex Scott really had to turn his charm on to convince Kieren’s parents to agree. But they wanted their son to be happy, so they really had no choice.

 

Kieren’s flat was small but was more then enough space then he needed. After unpacking all of his things, Jem and his parents had to go.

 

“You know the home number right?”

 

“Yes, and I’ll ring everyday.”

 

“And you understand that every weekend we’ll be visiting.”

 

“I know!”

 

“Okay, we better get going them.”

 

“Jem!” Kieren’s dad called, “we’re going now, so say goodbye to your brother!”

 

“See ya Kier, I’m coming to the band’s launch party next week right?”

 

“I’ll send you your invite!”

 

He hustled them out the door, making promises and saying goodbye until finally the flat was to himself. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Later there was a knock on the door. He prayed it wasn’t his parents coming to take him back home but it wasn’t. Instead a decorated girl was rocking on the balls of her feet, back and forth.

 

“Hey, I know you!” She said as he opened the door, “you’re the boy I danced in front of when you were busking.”

 

Having a stranger arrive at your door was something his parents had warned him about but really she looked harmless.

 

“I gave you a fiver!”

 

“Uh... yeah that’s me.”

 

The girl stuck out her hand, “I’m Amy Dyer. So they chose you in the end then?”

 

“What?”

 

“Well I work for Mr Scott, I’m a publicist, now assigned to your band.” She explained, “he got me to go out and start a flashmob in front of young buskers. So if you were signed there would already be publicity for you!”

 

So it was a set-up.

 

“Alex Scott set that up?”

 

“Yeah, he made me do it in front of a lot of singers. Guess he chose you in the end, I hoped he would, you were the best.”

 

“Oh, thanks.”

 

“I’m here to escort you to the studio, you’re to meet the other members of the band!”

 

Kieren grabbed his coat as Amy continued.

 

“Well two of them anyway, the other is on a flight here from Ireland right now!”

 

An irish bandmate? Kieren secretly hoped it was a member of Westlife, trying to have a shot at fame again. His mum had always wanted to meet them.

 

Amy lead him on the ten minute walk to the studio. Pointing out all the greatest restaurants and cafes in the area. She was nice, and Kieren liked how much energy she had. When they arrived, Alex was there to greet him.

 

“Hello Kieren, settling in okay?”

 

“Yes, great thank you Alex. It’s a really nice flat”

 

“Ah, I knew you’d like it.”

 

Mr Scott dismissed Amy off to do some work and lead Kieren personally up to the new band floor.

 

“We’re calling this day ‘Orientation’, for you to get to know the other members of the band. Minus one of course, Simon hasn’t arrived yet.”

 

Floor 66 was wonderful. There was a spacious dressing room/ private area for all members of the band. Photography studios, sound studios, a rehearsal space. An office for Amy, a kitchen, a fancy bathroom. There was even a room filled with hammocks. 

 

“We’ve spared no expense Kieren. We’re that sure of your imminent success.”

 

Kieren smiled timidly, would he ever live up the expectations?

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

He hung out with the other members of the band for the rest of the day. Harvey was a nice lad, the sporty time, someone Kieren thought he could imagine playing about with Rick on the football field when he went to watch on Sundays. He was older though and at 19 he was more talented on the drums than Kieren ever would be on guitar. Lisa looked scary, with pink and teal hair, but really, she was sweet. He learnt that Lisa had lived in Roarton for awhile but had moved away a year ago after she’d turned seventeen. He knew that if the other guy was anything like these two, the band would be a tight-knit unit ready to take on the music industry. 

 

When all three of them were playing multiplayer on the playstation provided, Amy popped in.

 

“Kieren can I have a word with you about your branding?”

 

“My branding?”

 

“Hey don’t worry, it’s just about colour schemes.” Lisa reassured him.

 

They went to Amy’s office.

 

“Now all the band members are being assigned a colour for merchandise and what not. And as you were the last to have signed we only have two options left for you. Pink or red?”

 

If Kieren chose pink he could just imagine what Rick would say, and he could almost hear in his head the laughing from Bill. 

 

“Red.”

 

“Not a fan of fuchsia?”

 

Kieren shrugged.

 

“Well as your publicist I feel I need a colour too, so I think I can make pink work.” Kieren smiled looking down at her pink floral skirt.

 

“Yeah, you probably can.”

 

That evening when Lisa and Harvey went to try out their new instruments (Kieren would receive his guitar later) Kieren was left alone in the lounge.

 

For the second time that day, Amy popped her head in.

 

“Kieren, can you go and approve your stool please.”

 

“My what?”

 

“All the band members have a stool in their colour for the interviews in a few weeks. Can you check yours is high enough for you?”

 

“Yeah sure.”

 

“Okay, it’s in the room on the left by the lift, I’ll be along in the minute I just have to make a call.”

 

Kieren nodded and went in search of the stools.

 

He found the room but when he pushed open the door he saw a man sitting on the red stool with his back to Kieren.

 

"Excuse me, you're...uh... you're sitting on my stool." Kieren stammered. 

 

"This you?" The man said turned and looked down at the red stool, "Oh sorry, didn't realise you were one of the band."

 

So he was the other member of the band. The one that had missed the ‘Orientation’.Simon looked older then the other members, about 21. He looked different as well. For the life of him Kieren couldn't see why Alex had decided that Simon would fit with the band. Yet somehow Kieren knew behind the Irish accent was one hell of a voice.

 

"Red?" Simon questioned as if the colour was something to be ashamed of.

 

"Yeah, it was that or pink."

 

"What would you have chosen?"

 

"Orange maybe, or Green."

 

Simon moved over to Green stool.

 

"That's what I wanted." He sat possessively on his stool, crossing his legs and smirking. 

 

From behind Kieren there was a screech. 

 

"Oh great, you guys have met." Amy came strutting towards them, a clipboard clasped in her hands.

 

"Not formally." Simon piped up.

 

"Kieren Walker, this is Simon." She turned to Simon, "Kieren is the one I was telling you about, the new and last member."

 

Simon offered his hand to Kieren and Kieren clasped it in response, with a somewhat tense eye contact between them.

 

"Simon's going to be co-lead singer, slash, co-lead guitarist, slash, general heartthrob with you."

 

"Oh, right." Kieren hadn't realised there was going to be a 'co-lead'.

 

"Alright with sharing the limelight Kieren?"

 

"Yeah.

 

"Really."

 

"Sure."

 

"You'll be great." Trust Amy to try and defuse some tension.

 

"How many lead singers do you think waste away under the scrutiny of fame?" Simon questioned. 

 

"What—"

 

"Heard of that singer that shot ten people in the head, the Ravenswood massacre, you’re gonna need someone else to share that light with. If I don’t have to, I don’t want to carry the burden alone either."

 

"I guess—"

 

Simon turned to Amy, "looks like the co-leads are all happy then"

 

"Okay then." Amy swung around and left the room.

 

Simon sat back down on his stool, and Kieren sat on his. Alex had happily left out the fact that Kieren would be a co-lead. Simon started at Kieren. He looked so comfortable on the stool, a real singer. How was it he seemed to know just what to do? And the way he was looking at Kieren, Kieren felt Simon was looking right through him as if he knew actually who Kieren was.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So he's met Simon, what can only happen next in Siren fics


	3. Not That You'd Even Notice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kieren takes Amy to visit his home town and he has an unfortunate meeting with Rick!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Dynamicalsystemsandchaos.  
> This is a Secret Santa gift for Dynamicalsystemsandchaos (dynamicalsystemsandchaos.tumblr.com)
> 
> The In The Flesh Secret Santa was organised by Ninjaninaiii (ninjaninaiii.tumblr.com). It was a great idea.
> 
> I decided to go with like this theme of Keaton Henson songs because he brings so much to show.
> 
> I would appreciate feedback very much.
> 
> STAY TUNED BECAUSE SOME CRAZY FLUFFY SHIT WILL HAPPEN I PROMISE
> 
> Also come say hi on tumblr (At the moment I'm 'simonschristmasjumpers' but after christmas I'll be changing back to 'simonsjumpers')

 

**Not That You’d Even Notice**

“And it won't be long

Till you know my songs

Then you'll know, and you'll come back”

 

There was something about Simon Kieren liked. He didn’t know why. Usually he’d hate guys like Simon. Guys that stared too long and made him feel uncomfortable. Amy loved him. In fact Kieren thought it was a little more then admiration for him. She talked about him the whole way when they were traveling to Roarton. 

 

“Did you know Simon’s from Ireland?”

 

“Yes Amy I got that from the accent.”

 

“I just love Ireland!”

 

They were traveling to Roarton so Amy could experience where Kieren grew up. As his publicist she needed to know everything about it. There were things Kieren would rather keep secret though, like Rick.

 

They stopped off at his house first. To say his parents were overwhelmed by Amy’s babbling enthusiasm was an understatement. 

 

“Hiya fam, I’m Amy.” She turned to Jem, “I love your hair, is it naturally that colour?”

 

Kieren saw Jem rolling her eyes. He could tell they all liked her though. You couldn’t not like Amy.

 

“I’ll show you my room.” Kieren offered.

 

“Where the magic happens.” She winked and took Kieren’s hand.

 

Amy sauntered round Kieren’s room, looking at various objects and paintings.

 

“Who’s this?” 

 

“What?”

 

“Who’s this?” Amy repeated indicating to the painting of Rick.

 

“No one.”

 

“Doesn’t look like no one.”

 

“Just a painting.”

 

“Is that just a painting too?” She said pointing to the other one of Rick.

 

“Yes.”

 

“And that photo there, of you and him, is that nothing too?”

 

“Yeah, nothing.”

 

Kieren slumped onto his bed. 

 

“I had a friend like that too once, she died though, leukemia. Is that boy dead too?” Amy said sitting next to him.

 

“No.”

 

“Oh, Kieren!.”

 

Kieren looked down at his feet. Amy hugged him tightly and over her shoulder Kieren started at the picture of Rick.

 

“We can’t tell anyone this Kieren.”

 

Kieren pulled away, “yeah I wasn’t going to.”

 

“You don’t understand. If Alex were to find out....”

 

“...he’d cut me from the band.”

 

“You’re meant to be a heartthrob for teenage girls. I know it’s unfair but–”

 

Before Amy could finish Jem burst into the room.

 

“Rick’s on the phone Kier, he sounds quite desperate to talk to you.”

 

Amy and Kieren made their way to the Legion to meet Rick, who’d sort of agreed to meet Amy under the pretense she was Kieren’s new friend and not his publicist. 

 

“Oh, what am I doing?” Kieren said as they approached

 

“What?”

 

“I’m bared for a life!”

 

“Now you’re a popstar, bans void.” Amy said casually.

 

“It’s the Legion.”

 

“It’s just a pub.” 

 

“No, no, no. It’s not just a pub.”

 

“It is.”

 

“No, Amy the people in there, they hated me before all this band business.”

 

“Why.”

 

Kieren raised an eyebrow. 

 

“Enough said.” She knew what he meant.

 

She grabbed the lapels of his hoodie and rearranged them.

 

“Come on, this Rick.” She spat out is name as if it was filth. “You wanna see him don’t ya. So lets go.”

 

As Amy strutted up to the bar and ordered two lemonades, everyone went quiet. Whispers of ‘he’s back’ and ‘he doesn’t look famous’ circulated the room.

 

Kieren stalled near the exit incase he needed a speedy get away but Rick called him over from where he was sitting. 

 

All Kieren wanted to do was pull Rick into a lasting hug, but Rick had set the parameters of their public relationship years ago. All Kieren received was an outstretched hand.

 

“Alright mate.”

 

“Good to see you Rick.” He kept his voice steady.

 

“Good to see you too Ren.”

 

Amy brought the drinks over. Rick didn’t move over for her, she had to pull up a chair.

 

They talked about old times for a while. And Kieren forgot about all the music stuff and became Ren again.

 

“Oh god, I’d forgotten about that.” Kieren said through a laugh.

 

They were talking about a time they’d come back from the cave in the dark on Rick’s go-cart.

 

“You made it, I rode it.” Rick added.

 

“Yeah, from the Den to the bottom of the crag.”

 

“And then, oh my god, then we made Lippy ride it. And we came straight off and packed straight into the bramble patch. Hey, do you remember that Lippy.”

 

From across the pub, Philip nodded not quite realising he was the but of a joke.

 

“What’s the Den?” Amy said breaking Kieren’s bubble. “You’re old hidey-hole so you could snog without your parents knowing!"

 

Rick clenched his fists and Kieren shrunk so he wouldn’t get hit.

 

“You fucking told her mate!” He said snarling at Kieren.

 

“I didn’t tell her about that.”

 

“I was just joking!” Amy added nervously realising her mistake. 

 

“Can I talk to you outside Ren?” Rick sneered.

 

Kieren knew Rick wouldn’t hurt him but Amy didn’t know that.

 

“He’s alright here thanks.”

 

“Don’t worry Amy, I’ll only be a moment. He does love me in his own strange way.”

 

“As your publicist, I’m at liberty to tell you, your face is insured and any damage would result in a problem.” She whispered to Kieren when Rick had stormed out.

 

He knew she was only joking but he Kieren just squeezed her shoulder reassuringly anyway.

 

“Five minutes.” He said.

 

Rick was leant against the pub wall.

 

“You told her then?”

 

“No I didn’t, she saw the paintings and she guessed.”

 

“Christ you’ve kept those paintings in your room!”

 

“I couldn’t move them to where I’m living now.”

 

“Yeah I better hope not!”

 

Kieren leant on the wall next to Rick.

 

“I can’t keep it a secret from everyone, it’s too much of a strain.”

 

“Can’t put this on me.”

 

“Can’t I?” Kieren raised his voice purposefully, “You’re the one who wants to hide our relationship.”

 

“Keep your voice down.”

 

“No Rick, do you even want it anymore?”

 

“Ren I–”

 

“I heard nothing from you since I left. Nothing.”

 

“Wanted to make it easier on yer.”

 

“Easier on yourself, you mean!”

 

“I thought you’d just forget about me!”

 

“How could I forget about you?”

 

“Your off to be in a band. New place. New people. You’re gonna have such a brilliant life. I’d have slowed you down.”

 

“Is that why yer never rang? Is that why yet never told yer Dad about us?”

 

“Why should I tell my Dad?”

 

Kieren shook his had. 

 

“Goodbye Rick.”

 

“Ren wait–”

 

“I’ve got to get back, rehearsals tomorrow.” Kieren went to go, but stopped himself, “And you know what Rick, when I’m singing all those songs about heartbreak, and when you hear me on the radio, then you’ll know how much you’ve fucked me up, because I’ll be singing about you.”

 

Rick let him go. 

 

Amy walked home with him. She didn’t say anything about is forlornness, instead she just walked with her head on his shoulder. Humming along to a song the band would be singing at their launch party. Kieren listened to it. Rick was right, he was going to have such a brilliant life. And maybe Rick had been slowing him down.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've written a lot of Siren stuff, it should be coming up soon


	4. Delicate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kieren deals with his fame!

**Delicate**

“It's not that we're scared 

It's just that it's delicate”

 

Rehearsals started early with Alex Scott, and they were formulaic for the rest of the day. 

 

_8:00: Be at the Studio_

_8:10: Warm up with Giles_

_8:40: Going over yesterdays rehearsal and practicing all the changes_

_9:30: Discussing todays rehearsal_

_9:35: Beginning rehearsal_

_10:45: Break_

_11:00: More rehearsal (With instruments)_

_12:30: Meeting with Amy_

_1:20: Meeting with Alex_

_2:00: Lunch_

_3:00: Rehearsal_

_4:00 Dance rehearsal_

_5:00: Rehearsal (with instruments)_

_6:30: Break_

_7:45: Warm down and dismissal_

 

 

He couldn’t imagine what the day would be like when they were preparing for a concert because at the moment they were only practicing for their launch party. The launch party was going to be big, journalists, photographers, other bands. It was a big deal. And if they wanted to get anywhere they needed to impress at the launch party. At the launch party the band name would be revealed. Kieren’s other bandmates were just as excited for this as he was. Simon mused about being called ‘The Monroes’, but in response Lisa threw a pillow across the room at him. 

 

“You realise your a co-lead!” She said, “so it would have to be ‘The Walker-Monroe’s.”

 

“I could deal with that.” He said smugly.

 

Kieren blushed, he didn’t really want his name in the band, let alone it infused with Simon’s. What would Rick say? He reminded himself that him and Rick had broken up yesterday, he shouldn't care what Rick would think!

 

“What about a combination of our names?” Harvey suggested.

 

“Like what?” Lisa asked.

 

“I don’t know, so the first word is a combination of our co-leads and the second word is a combination of ours.”

 

“How would that work?” Lisa questioned.

 

“Hmmm, so Kiermon, no Siren. Then Harsa.”

 

“Let me get this straight, you want our band to be called...Siren Harsa?” Simon lamented sarcastically.

 

“Perhaps not!” Harvey laughed.

 

“Anyways I think Alex has already picked out a name, I heard him gossiping about it with Amy.” Lisa added.

 

“You mean we don’t get to pick out our own name?” Harvey moaned.

 

“With all your great ideas I think that’s a blessing!” Simon grumbled.

 

Kieren had been wrong about Simon in one way. He did fit in with the band. The way he played his acoustic guitar along with Harvey’s drums and Lisa’s keyboard was magical. Even without the singing, the four instruments (including Kieren’s guitar) made perfect sense together. When they all played, the music being produced was perfectly in tune. Simon even fit with the image of the band. After Amy managed to pry Simon’s thick wooly jumpers from his hands, despite his wailing, he really was quite attractive. Plain V-necks worn over jeans, and the wool-knit cardigan Amy had allowed him to keep. Yeah he fit in theory. But fitting with Kieren in practice was almost impossible. They didn’t fit together. Simon was a corner piece and Kieren was from the middle. Rehearsal after rehearsal they tried to join their voices in harmony but they were really struggling. The vocals sounded wobbly and disembodied. Kieren could see the looks Harvey and Lisa was sharing and Simon made no attempt to disguise his frustration. Somehow Kieren felt it was his fault, like he would be responsible for the fallout of the band.

 

“Kieren just try and keep with me this time, yeah?” Simon said from underneath the hands pressed to his face in anger after practicing one song. 

 

Alex didn’t seem as worried, neither did Amy.

 

“You’ll get their eventually.” He said to them one evening.

 

“Yeah, all bands are like this in the first few weeks.” Amy added.

 

“I wouldn’t have put you together if I didn’t think it would work.”

 

So they kept practicing. Kieren so wanted to get this right. He didn’t want to have to go back to Roarton, he didn’t want to have to face Rick. They hadn’t spoken since their sort-of-break-up last time Kieren had visited. Perhaps all the turmoil with Rick was causing the band to be incompatible, it probably was, Kieren was too distracted.

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

At 1:20 on a Sunday it was time for their meeting with Alex.

 

“So the launch party is exciting, I hope you are ecstatic as I am?”

 

No one answered. They were about as ecstatic as was Amy when someone interrupted her on the phone to her Nan. 

 

“Guys I know it’s not clicking at the moment but it will, just have faith. Remember you’ve only just met and you won’t go well together until you trust each other.”

 

Simon coughed.

 

“Anyway, shall we get on with today’s meeting topic?”

 

Simon waved his hand as if to say, ‘get this over with then’.

 

“Today I wanted to talk to you about the paparazzi.” He said, “best thing to remember: they will literally do anything to get a scoop. I’m talking murder, well maybe not quite so serious, but still. I’ve seen photographers break their legs falling from balconies they’d climbed up onto.”

 

Harvey stifled a laugh.

 

“They’re a real danger, to me, to you, to the band. Just don’t engage with them, if you see them, get the fuck away. If they see you, maybe give them one grimace at best. Save your winning faces for official photos, okay?”

 

They all nodded.

 

“You can’t be caught doing anything odd from now on!” His voice suddenly got very taut, “no having secret relationships, or one night stands sneaking out from hotel rooms.”

 

Lisa stiffened.

 

“No boyfriends, no girlfriends, no anyone without me knowing. Wanna meet someone for coffee? Tell me, it must be approved.”

 

“So you basically are big brother then.” Simon mumbled.

 

“Yes I am!”

 

Alex stood upright.

 

“I want you to know, we’ve done digging into all of your pasts. We know all your dirty secrets and I don’t want a repeat of any of them!”

 

The air in the room stilled. Lisa took in a deep, loud breath. Harvey shifted uncomfortably. Kieren panicked, did they know about Rick, did Amy tell Alex? He reminded himself that if Alex knew who wouldn’t be here right now, so his secret was safe. Simon had gone very still, and his eyes were burning with a fury for Alex.

 

“Your all here because of your talent, and there are certain things about you which we’ve had to overlook and bury. We don’t want any of it resurfacing.”

 

Alex paused and sighed, he looked guilty. Guilt for almost blackmailing them.

 

“Go on off you go, I’ll see you after lunch.”

 

All four of them made to leave, in dead silence. Harvey and Lisa jogged to the lift, ready to collect their lunches, whispering to each other about Alex’s matter-of-fact approach to their pasts. Kieren followed but as Simon left Alex’s office he heard something unusual. As Simon shut the door, Kieren heard Alex say to him.

 

“I was talking to you especially Simon, no repeat of 2008!” 

 

Simon slammed the door shut and shoved Kieren out of the way as he made for Amy’s office.

 

* * *

 

 

 

Kieren had had quite enough of Simon. He was tired of being the cause of his bandmates frustration, and he was tired of Simon blaming him for everything. That day at lunch he needed to be alone so he went to a cafe a few streets down from the Henson studios. He needed time to process everything. Alone. Not under the eyes of Alex and the stare of Simon. He ordered a lemonade and sat at a table outside. It was a nice day and no amount of fame would make him sit inside and hide his face. Instead he closed his eyes and upturned his face, so it was covered in sunlight. At the cafe opposite, on the other side of the street, a man sat facing him. Not subtly, just full on facing him, as if he was prey. Kieren shifted uncomfortably. 

 

However he soon forgot about the man sitting opposite. From the corner of his eye he saw Simon, arm in arm with Amy, swanning towards him. Does he really have to crop up everywhere? As they passed Kieren caught Amy's attention from where he was sitting. Simon continued on, choosing a table a few meters away.

 

"What you doing here?" Amy asked.

 

"I'm enjoying myself, what are you doing here?"

 

"I don't know, Simon insisted."

 

Kieren rolled his eyes, of course Simon had insisted. Simon couldn't let Kieren have one moment without his snarky face nearby.  Amy joined Simon and not surprisingly it was only Amy that actually ordered something. Simon just sat, occasionally glancing in Kieren's direction.

 

Kieren tried his best to ignore Simon and returned his gaze back to the street. The man who had once sat staring was gone. Vanished into thin air when Kieren had been distracted. Good riddance. It was a few minutes before Kieren noticed him again though. Now the man was on his side of the street sitting at a table at the next cafe. He looked more menacing now and Kieren noticed a large camera out on the table. Paparazzi. Alex had warned him but honestly Kieren never expected someone to actually be following him for pictures. 

 

Kieren stood up and so did the photographer, grabbing his camera. Kieren couldn't do anything as the man approached, taking a constant stream of photos, he was paralysed. What was he supposed to do?

 

Suddenly the man shook as someone grabbed him from behind. The person, struggling to hold the photographer in a chokehold, grabbed the camera and sent into flying into the road. Kieren saw the remains of the smashed camera shatter into more tiny pieces as a car ran over it. The photographer let out a guttural scream, and another high pitched scream voiced behind him. Kieren turned, Amy was stood up looking in their direction, her hand clapped over her mouth. Where was Simon? Kieren turned back.

 

He could see who has holding the photographer so tightly now. It was Simon. The man was squirming but under Simon's grip he could barely move. Simon made eye contact with Kieren, nodding as if to say— 'with your permission, he's dead'. Kieren shook his head and stepped back. Simon let go of the man, pushing him to the ground so he lay sprawled out and moaning. 

 

Everyone else in the street stood in shock, and Kieren, completely overwhelmed, sunk back into his chair. Simon came over and knelt by him, the moans of the man echoing in the background. 

 

"Hey," Simon said gently, "are you okay?"

 

Simon had taken Kieren's shaking hands in his and was holding them supportively. 

 

"Yeah, I'm fine."

 

Kieren pushed Simon out of the way and stormed off back towards the studios. He knew he wasn't alone as from behind him he could hear the swish of Amy's skirts and her muttering about getting fired, mixed in with Simon's promises not to let that happen. If he really wanted to seduce her, like Kieren thought he was trying to, then he wasn't doing a bad job. The soothing tones in his voice were calming her down and they were even reaching Kieren's ear.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

As Kieren, and the two behind him, burst into the reception, the women behind the counter looked startled. 

 

"Alex was looking for you three." She said timidly.

 

Amy whimpered quietly, and Simon hushed her. 

 

Before the three of them could move, Alex came striding through the opposite door.

 

"Office! Now!"

 

This time when Amy whimpered, Simon made no attempt to comfort her.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

Alex laughed. When they told him the full story, he laughed.

 

"I see the meeting earlier went well then."

 

Amy had been left outside in the corridor while Alex had Simon and Kieren explain the situation. 

 

"Oh boys, what were you thinking?"

 

They both looked down to their laps.

 

"Kieren, going out like that without telling anyone. You were bound to be spotted." He sighed, "and Simon acting as violently as you did, you realise this is a serious matter."

 

Simon leaned back in his chair.

 

Alex slumped in his chair, "look, I think we've been lucky. From the way you described him, I think I know who the guy was."

 

Alex quickly typed something into his computer and swung the monitor round for them to see.

 

"Was that him?"

 

They both nodded, it was the same greasy looking man.

 

"His names Gary Kendall, works for The Captain. He's a sleaze bag so I doubt he'll report this but next time, you've got to act completely differently. You're famous now boys and I won't have you justifying yourself by saying that 'no publicity is bad publicity'. If both my lead singers get into altercations like this then the band is over. You won't just be hurting yourselves."

 

Alex stood up and sat at the edge of his desk.

 

"Kieren you can go, but Simon you need to stay."

 

Kieren stood and walked over to the door. Before he left he looked back at Simon. The older man smiled, confidently, as if to say 'I'll be fine'. Kieren felt himself smiling back. And before he closed the door he heard Simon say.

 

"It wasn't his fault, it wasn't Amy's either."

 

How could he stay now, after all that had happened. From the way he'd acted when approached by a photographer, Kieren knew he wasn't cut out for fame. He grabbed a bag of his things and took the lift down to the ground floor. He'd ring Alex tomorrow, explain everything.

 

The lift doors opened but blocking his way out was Amy.

 

"Not going on another day trip alone are ya?"

 

"Not a day trip this time Amy." He said, sauntering past her.

 

She saw the bag on his shoulder and joined in his brisk walking.

 

"You know they'll pull the band if you leave."

 

"They won't, they'll just find someone else."

 

"What's Henson going to do without your handsome face to brighten up the stage."

 

"Wait, that’s what the band is gonna be called?” She put a finger to her lips but Kieren knew she was only trying to entice him to stay, “I'm sure they'll manage without me."

 

"Not so sure of that myself."

 

"Please, stay." Amy stopped him.

 

"Amy I..."

 

"You're a great singer, don't throw it away." She said it seriously, with no patronising tone or exaggeration.

 

Kieren gave her his bag and she lead them back upstairs.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

When the bandmates were finally allowed to leave the studios that night, Amy wasn’t there so all four of them walked to the flats together.

 

Harvey was giving Lisa a piggy back as she was too tired to walk, Simon and Kieren were walking behind them. They barely made it up the stairs without collapsing but eventually they reached their floor. As Harvey and Lisa’s flats were near the stairs they vanished through their front doors quicklywhich left Simon and Kieren to walk along to theres.

 

“Amy told me you tried to leave earlier.” Simon admitted.

 

“Does Amy tell you a lot of things about me?” Kieren asked, he hoped she hadn’t told Simon about Rick.

 

“A few things.”

 

That left a silence.

 

“Are you okay? After that whole thing today?” Simon whispered.

 

“Yeah, you’re the one who got a bollocking from Alex.”

 

“He’s all talk.” Simon said threateningly.

 

They reached their doors and Kieren put his key in the lock. 

 

“Night–”

 

“Kieren, wait!”

 

Kieren turned, there was such an urgency in his voice.

 

“You weren’t scared were you?”

 

“Nah, that guy wasn’t scary, I’m just a delicate soul.”

 

“...I mean...did I scare you?”

 

Kieren looked aghast, “no!”

 

“You sure, because for a moment I thought...”

 

“Simon I wasn’t scared of you for protecting me the way you did, I just wish you wouldn’t do it.”

 

“From now on you wanna fight your own fights, I get it!” Simon stepped over the threshold of his own door and entered his flat, “night.”

 

“Night Si–” He didn’t finish, Simon had already shut the door.

 


	5. Metaphors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the day of the launch party, tensions rise as Rick arrives and Simon learns what's between them!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Dynamicalsystemsandchaos.  
> This is a Secret Santa gift for Dynamicalsystemsandchaos (dynamicalsystemsandchaos.tumblr.com)
> 
> The In The Flesh Secret Santa was organised by Ninjaninaiii (ninjaninaiii.tumblr.com). It was a great idea.
> 
> I decided to go with like this theme of Keaton Henson songs because he brings so much to show.
> 
> I would appreciate feedback very much.
> 
> STAY TUNED BECAUSE SOME CRAZY FLUFFY SHIT WILL HAPPEN I PROMISE
> 
> Also come say hi on tumblr (At the moment I'm 'simonschristmasjumpers' but after christmas I'll be changing back to 'simonsjumpers')

**Metaphors**

_“Your features defy all metaphor_

_And I'm the king of those”_

 

 

Kieren was practicing his guitar when Simon entered the room. Simon looked pleased to see him and picked up his guitar to join in.

 

"What you practicing for?" Simon asked.

 

"The launch party later, we're performing you know!" Kieren said sarcastically, it was playing on all the bands minds, no one could have forgotten.

 

"Well it is our launch party." Simon laughed.

 

"I just don't want to mess up."

 

"You won't. We'll be fine."

 

Kieren continued playing regardless.  His strumming was interrupted by the trill of his phone. Kieren pulled it from his pocket, he was expecting a call from his parents but it wasn't them this time. Rick. Along with the ringing was the picture of them when they were fourteen, squatting down in their cave the first time they found it. Kieren let it ring, he couldn't talk to Rick now.

 

"Ex-girlfriend?" Simon mused.

 

"No." Kieren didn’t add anything else, the whole situation with Rick was private, especially now after Alex's warning. They couldn't be seen for anything but teenage heartthrobs to girls now, throwing a sort of ex-boyfriend-but-not-really-boyfriend-in-the-first-place-oh-plus-Alex-I’m-gay-or-pansexual-or-whatever-I-am spanner into the works would cause more trouble then keeping it a secret. 

 

"Drug dealer?" Simon asked darkly.

 

"Simon..." Kieren trailed off exasperatedly, Simon's face was too serious to be joking now. "No, nothing like that Simon, why would you think that?"

 

"Just seeing if we have anything in common."

 

"Jesus, Simon. You're not—"

 

"Not now."

 

"You've taken before?"

 

"The A-Z of the periodic table."

 

"Why?"

 

"Why the hell not?"

 

He saw Simon blooming, opening up to him. 

 

"Ever been so depressed it felt as it every nerve ending in your body is exposed, red and raw?" He asked it as a question but didn't push Kieren for an answer. "The chemicals would dampen down those feelings a bit."

 

"Why were you so depressed?" Kieren asked fingering the C string on his guitar. 

 

"Way I was wired I guess." Simon admitted, adding in a shrug. "Since the day I could think, I'd had this idea in my head, this piercing notion, that life was completely meaningless. Me and everyone else was just treading water until our bodies gave way and we sank back into the darkness."

 

Kieren felt a shiver go up his spine. This was not the Simon he had in his head, this was a vulnerable Simon.

 

Simon smiled, "when you feel like that 24/7, you might as well get fucked up beyond belief, because you don't believe in anything in the first place."

 

The way Simon was talking worried Kieren, he didn't want anything to come between them, "do you still feel that way?" He was aware of how his voice quaked like a broken string of an instrument. 

 

"No. Not anymore." Simon answered, and Kieren believed him and they went back to playing.

 

“Is that what Alex is holding over you? When he said 2008?” Kieren asked through Simon’s vocals.

 

He nodded. They continued to play, a little more in tune with one another then before.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Alex rounded all the band members up into the studio, to practice until the show began. 

 

"What's all this?" Alex asked as he entered the studio.

 

"We're having a break." Kieren said.

 

"I never said you could."

 

"I said they could." Simon said darkly.

 

"I'd tread very carefully," he addressed to Simon,  'five minutes and then get back to playing."

 

"So this is our lot from now on, Jesus Christ." Lisa muttered under her breath. 

 

"Guys come on, we’ve worked so hard and we’re nearly there!” Kieren tried to sound enthusiastic but he was more worried then anything.

 

“What makes you Mr Optimist now?” Harvey asked from where he was lying flat out on the floor.

 

“I just wanna get it right!”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

All the band members (plus Amy and Alex) were huddled together backstage. From where they were they could here the roar of the audience waiting for them. This was it, their performance at the launch party. The audience’s reaction would determine whether Alex was going to continue funding the project. 

 

“Alright guys, do me and the money I’ve invested proud, okay?”

 

That got a laugh.

 

“I’ll be watching from the back!” Alex wiggled his way out of the huddle and motioned for Amy to give her pep talk before leaving.

 

“I know you’ve all been worried but I honestly think you’re all finally compatible now! I want you to go out there and show how moregeous you all are!”

 

They all put their hands in the middle, Kieren’s hand placed delicately on top of Simon’s. 

 

“3...2...1...ROCK IT!” Amy said in a stereotypical Alex voice.

 

They all laughed through their nerves again. As they were about to file on Lisa suddenly turned back to Amy.

 

“Wait, what about our name?”

 

“Kieren will take care of it.” She said with a wink.

 

The three other members turned to Kieren.

 

"You know!?” Harvey questioned.

 

Kieren nodded, Amy had told him as a way to persuade him to stay. 

 

“And I thought Amy told me everything.” Simon wiled.

 

Kieren was once again reminded that perhaps Simon knew more about him then he was letting on.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

It was time, they were all in position. The lights were down but the energy was up. Suddenly the lights lifted and a fiery passion ignited in Kieren.

 

“GOOD EVENING!” He shouted through his mic, “WE ARE....HENSON!”

 

The audience shrieked with enthusiasm, and the band members who hadn’t yet heard the band name clapped in appreciation. Harvey began the opening beats and soon the song was under way. They’d decided to do covers tonight and save their songs for radio releases. The first cover song was Disorder by Joy Divsion, voiced mostly by Simon.

 

_"I've been waiting for a guide to come and take me by the hand,"_

 

Kieren had never felt more alive.

 

_Could these sensations make me feel the pleasures of a normal man?_

 

He immediately forgot all about Rick and could only think of the way Simon sang.

 

_"These sensations barely interest me for another day,_

_I've got the spirit, lose the feeling, take the shock away."_

 

Kieren’s solo came next and he played his guitar like it was once chance to get everything he wanted. And it really was his one chance. 

 

* * *

 

 

Once the song was over the audience screamed for more. They played four more, left the stage and then it came to Alex’s speech.

 

“I think we’ve all enjoyed this performance, am I right?”

 

The audience shouted loudly in reply.

 

“We have some really talented people here right?”

 

Again the audience screamed.

 

“I’ve actually planned something a little different for the band tonight and I’m about to go offstage and tell them! Stay right here!”

 

From offstage the band members broke out into worries.

 

“What does he mean?"

 

“Holy shit, what’s he done?”

 

“Kept us in the dark again, idiot!”

 

“Guys, it’s probably not that big of a deal!”

 

Alex jogged towards them.

 

“Hey Kieren, you know I’ve done research on you!?”

 

Kieren shuddered, was this going to be a public outing. Had Amy actually told him about Rick?

 

“Well, I found a video of you singing an original song at a talent show back home and I want you to sing it tonight, as your first original song!”

 

“I can’t just go out there and sing completely alone!” Kieren argued.

 

“Look when you were away with Amy, I had the rest of the band practice something, I didn’t tell them at the time but it was the music to accompany your piece!”

 

“Alex why didn’t you just tell me?”

 

“No time to dispute!” And with that he rushed onto the stage to introduce them once more.

 

“Henson will perform their first original song tonight for you, it’s called ‘You Could Be Happy” written by Henson’s very own Kieren Walker!”

 

From the audience Kieren thought he heard Jem scream the loudest. All of them sauntered back onto stage and began to prepare. During the intro (played by Lisa) Simon leaned over to whisper somethings in Kieren’s ear.

 

“You alright with this? We could just refuse to, it’s your song!”

 

Kieren shook his head, he wanted to do this. He began to sing.

 

_“You could be happy and I won't know_

_But you weren't happy the day I watched you go”_

 

Kieren sang mournfully, he’d wrote this song about Rick three months ago. Singing at that competition in front of everyone was a way of subtlety telling Rick not to leave for basic training in Preston.

 

_“And all the things that I wished I had not said_

_Are played in loops 'till it's madness in my head”_

 

It had worked, Rick hadn’t gone. However he’d only delayed it. Eventually his father would of insisted. 

 

_“Is it too late to remind you how we were_

_But not our last days of silence, screaming, blur”_

 

He felt Simon staring deeply at him as he played his guitar, it occurred to Kieren this was the first time the others would hear his lyrics, his true voice.

 

_‘"Most of what I remember makes me sure_

_I should have stopped you from walking out the door”_

 

He remembered that night in the pub, as he sang those lyrics, Rick had stood up to move closer to the makeshift stage. His eyes welling up and all existing arguments between them disappearing.

 

 

_“You could be happy, I hope you are_

_You made me happier than I'd been by far”_

 

Even through all the turmoil, Rick still made Kieren happy. However not as happy as Kieren was tonight, playing with the band.

 

_“Somehow everything I own smells of you_

_And for the tiniest moment it's all not true”_

 

Only Rick would understand that line. They spent so much time in their Den that they end up did smelling like each other. Rick sometimes had to bring a spare pair of clothes so Bill wouldn’t smell Kieren on him.

 

_“Do the things that you always wanted to_

_Without me there to hold you back, don't think, just do”_

 

He’d changed that line a few days ago, summarising Rick’s reasoning for not calling. Although Rick was misguided in his thinking, his reasons for staying away were slightly more justified now Kieren knew all he wanted was to let Kieren live well without him.

 

_“More than anything I want to see you...”_

 

Kieren faltered, he almost let the word ‘ _Rick’_ escape from his mouth, that was the lyric he had originally planned _,_ but he had reasoned it would cause too much of a stir in the legion so had skipped it whilst performing that night.He couldn’t say that now either, not in front of Simon (he didn't know why that occurred to him at that moment) and especially not in front of Alex. 

 

_“...girl_

_Take a glorious bite out of the whole world”_

 

He added in the girl for all of the screaming ones out in the audience, to make them believe for a moment he was in anyway reachable for them.

 

The song was over, they took a bow. Alex commanded the stage again and the band rushed off the stage. Harvey jumped up and down excitably, Lisa did a victory dance and Simon clapped his hand onto Kieren's shoulder.

 

"They love us, hear that!" Lisa squealed.

 

"This is immense!" Harvey crowed. 

 

Simon didn't say anything but he looked to Kieren.

 

"You look pretty happy." Kieren whispered.

 

"You were great."

 

Kieren blushed.

 

"Yeah, so were you." Kieren replied, deflecting the attention away from himself.

 

"Kieren, you outshone all of us up there and I–"

 

Simon was cut off by shouting from behind the backstage barrier, “Ren!”

 

No one called him that, only...

 

Kieren must have been a king of metaphors, because just by singing about him metaphorically, he had appeared.

 

...Rick.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will mark the beginning of Siren and the end of Rickren! It's bittersweet!
> 
> The song Kieren sings as his solo wasn't written by me or Keaton Henson. It is by Snow Patrol but I love it so much I wanted to fit it in!


	6. Party Song

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rick has come for Kieren, but what will Simon think?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Dynamicalsystemsandchaos.  
> This is a Secret Santa gift for Dynamicalsystemsandchaos (dynamicalsystemsandchaos.tumblr.com)
> 
> The In The Flesh Secret Santa was organised by Ninjaninaiii (ninjaninaiii.tumblr.com). It was a great idea.
> 
> I decided to go with like this theme of Keaton Henson songs because he brings so much to show.
> 
> I would appreciate feedback very much.
> 
> STAY TUNED BECAUSE SOME CRAZY FLUFFY SHIT WILL HAPPEN I PROMISE
> 
> Also come say hi on tumblr (At the moment I'm 'simonschristmasjumpers' but after christmas I'll be changing back to 'simonsjumpers')

**Party Song**

_“The thought of your hands_

_On his chest_

_Makes my stomach itch”_

 

Kieren let Rick backstage. They did need to talk, so Kieren unlocked his dressing room.

 

“You’re here?”

 

“Yeah, snuck away earlier.”

 

They were on opposite sides of the dressing room, with Rick squared off, leaning against the wall. Kieren was slumped in an armchair rubbing his vocal chords.

 

"Ren–”

 

“Why are you here Rick?”

 

“I came to see you.”

 

“But why?”

 

Rick didn’t say anything, he made no declaration as usual.

 

“Did you catch the last song?” Kieren sighed, not leaving it to Rick to restart the conversation.

 

“Yeah, the end.”

 

Kieren nodded, so at least Rick watched.

 

“Nearly blurted out my name again then Ren.” Rick joked.

 

Kieren laughed before he stopped himself. He honestly didn’t find it very funny, the strain he was going under to keep Rick a secret.

 

“I wanted to see yer, because of what happened last time,” Rick offered up.

 

“Yeah, then what did happen last time?”

 

Just like Rick couldn’t admit to the relationship, he couldn’t even admit to the break-up.

 

“Please Ren, I just need yer.”

 

Although Rick didn’t talk much he was great at acting out. He launched himself across the room and stuck his face out to be kissed. Kieren wasn’t surprised, Rick never really initiated anything it always had to Kieren.

 

“If you wanna kiss me just do it yourself.”

 

Rick braced his hands on Kieren’s chest as a way of preparing himself, but before their lips met they were interrupted. Simon burst into the room and Rick shrunk away from Kieren. Immediately Simon’s look of outrage faded into his usual disguise and he reeled backwards and left. 

 

"Who was that?" Rick snarled from the other of room.

 

"Simon, he’s in the band, didn't you see him?"

 

"I was looking at you Ren, only you!"

 

If Kieren hadn’t of been so angry at that moment, he would of noticed that what Rick just said to him was what Kieren had said to Rick before their first kiss, and the closest Rick would ever come to saying _'I love you'_.

 

"Look, he probably won’t cause any trouble about what he saw, don’t worry.”

 

"Wait, he knows?"

 

"Maybe, I don’t know.”

 

“What if he tells me Dad?”

 

Kieren scoffed, “he doesn’t even bloody know yer dad Rick, he doesn’t even know you!”

 

“I gotta get back, this was a mistake!”

 

Kieren let him go, echoing the words from the song he’d written for Rick.

 

_‘Most of what I remember makes me sure_

_I should have stopped you from walking out the door”_

 

However Kieren knew that this time it was the right thing to let Rick go.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Kieren composed himself in his dressing room momentarily before stepping out to find Simon. He needed to make sure he wouldn’t tell Alex that he just found his co-lead almost kissing some guy. He doubted Simon would, it might threaten his relationship with Amy, if Simon turned on her friend.

 

He saw Jem chatting with Lisa and her stepbrother Henry on the dancefloor. She motioned to join him, but he stopped her. _Have fun_ , he mouthed to her. She nodded and continued chatting.

 

Amy rushed up to him.

 

"YOU WERE AMAZING." Amy screeched, almost tackling him with a hug. "AND YOU LOOK ABSOLUTELY BLOODY MOREGEOUS."

 

"You don't look too bad yourself." 

 

She full frontally kissed him, in an affectionate way,  shouting and drunk.

 

"I LOVE YOU KIEREN WALKER!" You wouldn't of known they'd only known each other for a little while, "NOT LIKE THAT CAUSE I KNOW YOU DON'T LIKE THAT BUT I LOVE THATS GREATER THEN THAT."

 

"I love you too Amy." Kieren wasn't worried about what she just said, if he could barely hear her over the stereos no one else could.

 

"You're my BBFF!" 

 

"I've no idea what that means!"

 

She laughed and threw her head back, "BEST BAND FRIEND FOREVER!"

 

"Where's Simon? Have you seen him?"

 

"On the terrace, do you like him? Say you like him he's my future husband and your co-lead you have to like him. I DEMAND YOU LIKE HIM."

 

"Yeah, yeah. He's alright. I need to talk to him."

 

She lead him out of the dancing and towards the terrace. 

 

Simon was leaning over the railing, looking down the 66 stories of the skyscraper. He had his back to them so Amy shouted to him.

 

"Simon, Kieren's here."

 

Simon turned but didn't say anything.

 

"Can I talk to you...uh...in private."

 

Simon ushered for Kieren to join him and Amy left screeching something about finding the other band that was here performing second called Wood.

 

They both stood in silence, leaning over the railing, looking out into the darkness to the tune from the music inside.

 

Kieren said breaking the silence, “Don't tell anyone he was here. That guy I was just with. If Alex–" 

 

"Look when I was a kid I used to let people walk all over me," it was clear Simon was not about to answer Kieren, directly "so when a mate asked me to hold some drugs for him I let it happen. Years later I'm sitting in an American motel, hallucinating about stardust in my eyes. Don't let that guy walk all over you!"

 

Kieren pulled a quizzical face.

 

"Amy told me what happened. What happened with Rick Macy. And that was him right?"

 

Kieren let his head fall on the railing overlooking the drop to nothing. Of course Amy had old Simon.

 

"You said to her that he loved you."

 

"He does." Kieren bit back. 

 

"Not like your family do. Not like Amy does." Simon paused and shuffled his hand along the cold bar and pushed it roughly on top of Kieren's. "Not like I do."

 

Kieren didn't move, he froze completely in place. Simon smiled, but it was uneasy. 

 

"He's gone now anyway." Kieren revealed, not moving Simon's hand from his quite yet.

 

“The way he had his hands on your chest, I left because I couldn’t, I couldn’t see you with a guy that–”

 

"Boys!" Alex opened the doors to the terrace. 

 

Immediately they let go of each others hands and turned to round.

 

"What do you think you're doing?"

 

We barely even did anything, Kieren thought to himself. 

 

"PARTY IS IN HERE!" He roared.

 

Both Simon and Kieren laughed in relief and went to back to the dancing inside. The whole night, Simon and Kieren kept looking at each other, sneaking glances when they knew no one was looking. Something clicked in Kieren’s mind as he lay in bed that night getting no asleep at all, Simon is certainly not into Amy like Kieren had originally thought!

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SIREN BEGINS, the author screams from the roof tops!


	7. Always On My Mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the night of the launch party, things happen that cause more things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Dynamicalsystemsandchaos.  
> This is a Secret Santa gift for Dynamicalsystemsandchaos (dynamicalsystemsandchaos.tumblr.com)
> 
> The In The Flesh Secret Santa was organised by Ninjaninaiii (ninjaninaiii.tumblr.com). It was a great idea.
> 
> I decided to go with like this theme of Keaton Henson songs because he brings so much to show.
> 
> I would appreciate feedback very much.
> 
> STAY TUNED BECAUSE SOME CRAZY FLUFFY SHIT WILL HAPPEN I PROMISE
> 
> Also come say hi on tumblr (At the moment I'm 'simonschristmasjumpers' but after christmas I'll be changing back to 'simonsjumpers')

**Always On my Mind**

_“Tell me, tell me that your sweet love hasn’t died”_

 

Kieren heard a knock on his flat door early the next morning. It was Amy, she breezed in with a coffee and a pastry in her hand and put it down on the kitchen work service.

 

"So you and Mymon were nattering away last night."

 

"Mymon?" Why did Kieren even ask?

 

"My Simon."

 

 Shit, Kieren thought.

 

"In very close conference.”

 

"Oh yeah." Kieren tried to keep an element of guilt out of his voice.

 

“Proper old chinwag.”

 

"Don't suppose at any point the name of a certain me came up?”

 

Kieren said nothing.

 

“Stop dragging it out and tell me what he said about me.”

 

“Oh you know...”

 

“What, was it mainly my hypnotic eyes.”

 

“All good stuff.”

 

Kieren was lying through his teeth, but he could hardly tell Amy that last night Kieren had realised Simon was definitely not interested in Amy. Instead he may be interested in Kieren.

 

“Not body parts, my breasts and my derrière, filthy animal.”

 

Before Kieren could break down with guilt there was another knock at the door. Kieren left Amy in the next room to answer it

 

It was Simon, looking wild and ferocious, he clearly hadn't slept. His hair was glistening with water and stuck up at different angles. He stepped closer to Kieren, breaking off any space between them. 

 

"Kieren, last night–"

 

Kieren knew that if he let Simon continue things could get very graphic if Amy were to enter the hallway so he interrupted quickly.

 

"Amy's here." He whispered.

 

Simon raised an eyebrow as Kieren stepped away and jogged into the kitchen.

 

Simon followed him and immediately Amy ducked under Simon's arms into a cuddle. Simon winced as Amy barreled into him.

 

"Missed you waking me up this morning, I thought I was going to be late." Simon filled the awkwardness of Amy’s hug with the first things he could think of.

 

"Had to help dozy here by getting his breakfast."

 

Simon laughed and let go, the normal hug time had elapsed. But Kieren watched in envy as Amy just held on tighter. Simon just looked at Kieren like he did when Amy was around. As if there was a big secret Amy didn't know, and after last night, there was.

 

"This is a special hug, just for special people. Sorry Kieren." She mouthed 'Mymon' to him and Kieren had to tame the beast inside himself that wanted to rip Amy away from Simon.

 

They ate breakfast together in Kieren's kitchen with Amy chatting away to fill the silence. Kieren didn't want to talk after what he had just witnessed and some part of Simon was too embarrassed. Soon they were out the door and on the way to the studio, but they hadn't made it down the block of flat's stairs before Amy wheeled around saying she had completely forgotten to wake Harvey and Lisa. Simon and Kieren were left to walk to work alone, awkwardly since Simon had had time to mull over his desperate appearance at Kieren's door this morning to do something drastic.

 

Kieren worked up his courage before saying, "what are you doing with Amy?”

 

Nonchalantly Simon replied, "what do you mean, I'm not doing anything with Amy?”

 

“I mean she thinks the two of you are involved,” Kieren tried not to sound so jealous, “and your not doing anything to put her right you keep leading her on.”

 

“Okay, I know you're the big Amy expert and everything Kieren. But once Amy gets an idea in her head, there's nothing anyone can do to get it out of there, okay?”

 

Kieren jumped down two steps to rush ahead.

 

“Hey,” Simon called, “I care about her too you know, a lot.”

 

Kieren jumped down two more steps.

 

“Kieren!” 

 

Kieren haltered, he had to stop when Simon said his name, the softness of his Irish voice compelled him, 

 

“Amy is someone who needs to see that she's loved,” he wasn't wrong, “so I show her love because I do love her just not like that.”

 

Simon joined him four steps down, “so that's what's going on there.”

 

He leaned in closer, less wildly then this morning, “I don't lead people on!”

 

Kieren felt himself smiling and they both kept walking to work.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

They had interviews that day, from all the magazines that had been at the launch party last night. Unfortunately one of the accompanying photographers was Gary Kendall, the one that Simon had attacked on the street. When Kieren was caught alone for a few moments, Gary approached him.

 

“Mind if I take your photo for the magazine?” Gary sneered the next part, “gotta ask you this time, don’t want my camera being smashed up!”

 

Before Kieren could reply, Simon appeared from behind Gary.

 

"Get away from him!" 

 

_Oh great_ , Kieren thought, _he’s got it into his head he needs to protect me now, from Gary as well as Rick._

 

"Simon it's okay, one photo."

 

Simon opened his mouth to protest, but from the other side of the photography studio Alex called him over. He left, but kept a close eye on them from across the room.

 

Gary ended up taking a few more photos then Kieren expressed he was comfortable with. But after a threatening hand sign from Simon, he soon backed off.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

During a break, Kieren retreated to his dressing room. The fact he got hardly any sleep last night (for the same reason Simon hadn’t, too much excitement at the prospect of each other) and the fact that the media had tired him out, but it was nice to be off proper rehearsals for a day. He almost nodded off before there was a soft knock at the door. Kieren thought it would be Amy, coming to check up on him. The person that let themselves in wasn’t Amy.

 

“Kieren?” It was Simon.

 

“Oh, hey.”

 

Simon leant on the wall opposite where Kieren was slumped in his armchair. They were in the same positions that Kieren had been with Rick last night. Except Simon stood clumsily, his back hunched a little.

 

"I'll tell Alex that Gary was let in!” Kieren said into his hands.

 

"You think Alex is any better because he gives you a smile?" There was something uneasy in Simon’s voice. "He's not going to do anything, he let the guy in himself. He's part of the machine, same as Gary is, same as we are.”

 

Kieren looked up at Simon is half amusement and half bewilderment. Where was all this coming from?

 

“I don't share your faith in these people.” He said as he left the dressing room.

 

Kieren followed him but before they could talk Lisa appeared in front of them. 

 

“Guys, can one of you talk to that guy Gary about the band. I would, but he keeps staring at my chest!”

 

Simon scoffed and Kieren put his arm around her.

 

“Yeah, sure we will!” 

 

She thanked them and went to find Amy.

 

"You better talk to him, I don't trust myself to." Simon whispered to Kieren.

 

"Don't do anything stupid, I’ll be back in a moment."

 

“Okay.”

 

Kieren went over to Gary at the refreshments table.

 

“You wanted a statement about the band?”

 

"Look I'm here to take pictures of you guys so teenagers who lust after you will buy the magazine, I don't care about your ‘statements’ or whatever!”

 

“But–”

 

Kieren turned on a whim to see if anyone else was listening. Something caught his eye. Kieren saw Simon remove the memory card from Gary's camera. Immediately he directed Gary to go find Alex to request more ‘lustful’ photographs. He snuck on on Simon at the refreshments table.

 

“Put the card back!”

 

“Mind your own business Kieren.”

 

“You said you wouldn't do anything.”

 

“I said I wouldn't do anything stupid!”

 

“I told you not to and you used me!”

 

They spoke in harsh whispers to each other, so as to not be overheard by Harvey who was stuffing his face with more Doritoes then the band's strict diet allowed.

 

“You're being used by them.”

 

“I'm not going along with you, just put the card back.”

 

Simon turned defeated, “I was wrong about you from the start!”

 

Simon slotted the memory card of the camera back and placed the camera back before Gary returned. 

 

After the day of interviews were over, Simon left quickly. Kieren rushed after him but as the lift doors closed he heard Simon sneer.

 

“I've got nothing to say to you, I thought there was something there, I was wrong!”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Later that evening, Kieren reminisced of Simon’s hand on his the night before. Any feelings Simon had for him, had probably died now. His thoughts were suddenly interrupted by his mobile. It was an unknown number ringing. He answered.

 

“Hello...?” Kieren said into the phone.

 

“Hello.” The voice answered.

 

“Who is this?”

 

“This is gonna sound strange, but it’s Freddie Preston.”

 

“Freddie Preston, from Roarton?”

 

“Yeah, listen mate this is gonna sound _really_ strange but I think your sister got into a bit of trouble tonight.”

 

“What!” Kieren perked up immediately.

 

“Some guy was hassling her on the street, she told me not to tell you but I couldn’t not!”

 

“Thanks Freddie, I’ll ring her now.”

 

“Alright mate, bye.”

 

Kieren dialed his home phone.

 

“Walker residence.”

 

“Hi mum, is Jem there?”

 

“Yeah, are you alright love?”

 

“Fine, just wanted to talk about band stuff!”

 

“Okay, she’s right here.”

 

“Kier?” Jem’s voice rose from the phone.

 

“Freddie rang me.”

 

She moaned, “oh I knew he would.”

 

“Jem what did he look like?”

 

“Oh I dunno, brown hair, unkempt beard.”

 

“Did he tell you his name?” 

 

“Gary Kendalmintcake, or something.”

 

“Can I call you back later?”

 

“Kier, what’s going on, who was he?”

 

“I’ll call you back later!”

 

Kieren hung up and sunk into his sofa. He ran his hands through his hair in worry. The only people he knew about his address were the band members, Amy and Alex. Alex. Of course. Alex probably set the whole thing up. His co-lead’s adorable sister, Kieren could see it now. 

 

Something came over him then, a rage that needed to be quenched. He stood up and raced out of the door, only to stop at the door next to his and knock. He needed Simon.

 


	8. 10AM Gard Du Nord

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kieren knocks on Simon's apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Dynamicalsystemsandchaos.  
> This is a Secret Santa gift for Dynamicalsystemsandchaos (dynamicalsystemsandchaos.tumblr.com)
> 
> The In The Flesh Secret Santa was organised by Ninjaninaiii (ninjaninaiii.tumblr.com). It was a great idea.
> 
> I decided to go with like this theme of Keaton Henson songs because he brings so much to show.
> 
> I would appreciate feedback very much.
> 
> STAY TUNED BECAUSE SOME CRAZY FLUFFY SHIT WILL HAPPEN I PROMISE
> 
> Also come say hi on tumblr (At the moment I'm 'simonschristmasjumpers' but after christmas I'll be changing back to 'simonsjumpers')

**10AM Gard du Nord**

_“And this is the world as I see it now_

_Turns out that nothing is fair”_

 

Kieren needed to calm down, he was hyperventilating. Learning that Alex had set up for Jem to be harassed by photographers was too much for one evening. And after the way he left things with Simon earlier, Kieren couldn’t believe he was now knocking frantically on his bandmate's door. He almost shrunk back into his flat, maybe Simon would think it was a knock-knock-ginger? But no he didn’t, he couldn’t.

 

When Simon opened the door, Kieren almost fell through the doorway onto him. However Simon caught him and helped him back up. He had one headphone in, and the other dangling down by his waist. His hair was once again glistening with water and he had his guitar in one hand.

 

“What’s the matter, what happened?” All the resentment Simon had had for Kieren earlier didn’t seem to be there anymore, “Kieren?”

 

The way he said Kieren’s name. Kiier-ren. Every time Simon said it Kieren felt as if he was being wooed. Suddenly everything pushed into Kieren. All the loneliness, all the fear, all the disappointment from Rick. He was tired, and he didn’t want to be anymore. He wanted something passionate and he wanted Simon.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Simon was quite surprised when Kieren thrust himself at him, even more surprised by the enchanting softness of Kieren’s lips despite the roughness of their embrace. Simon Monroe, who had always stood as boldly as a statue, melted. He melted into Kieren and everything they were doing. He realised quickly that Kieren was doing all the work and leapt into action. His guitar dropped to the floor, going down in a thud and an echoing. Kieren was distracted momentarily and pulled away. They stared at each other for a moment, as if they both couldn’t believe they were kissing. 

 

After a few seconds they began kissing again. Kieren with his hands clutched at the bottom of Simon’s hoodie, Simon’s hands roaming Kieren’s face. It was wild, exactly like how kissing Kieren should have been. Like Kieren was a raging fire, and Simon was trying to quench it like a firefighter quenching a blaze.

 

They continued to kiss, with it getting deeper by the second, until a voice broke them off.

 

“Simon is that you?” 

 

It was Amy, she hadn’t seen them but it sounded as if she was coming up the stairs. It was midnight, what was Amy doing at their flats at midnight? Alert and aware, Simon pulled away from Kieren, swung them away from the doorway and into his flat. Quickly he slammed the door but he lost his balance and both him and Kieren toppled onto the floor. Simon banged his head against the, now shut, door and Kieren lay strewn over him. Kieren’s head was nestled into Simon’s shoulder and for 30 seconds they could hear nothing but each other’s breaths. Then there was a knocking at the door.

 

“Simon, what’s going on?”

 

Another round of knocking.

 

“Simon?”

 

She probably stood there for a few minutes but eventually gave up. Kieren didn’t say anything to Simon, they just lay pressed against one another.

 

From behind the door they heard Amy knocking at Kieren’s door.

 

“Kieren...are you there...it’s Amy.”

 

Then Lisa came out of her flat followed by Harvey. Their muffled voices carried through the wood.

 

“Amy, what’s going on it’s midnight?”

 

“Simon won’t answer his door, and neither will Kieren!”

 

Lisa grumbled something to which Amy replied, “you’re right, you’re right, I’ll see you tomorrow!”

 

After a couple more minutes the others had retreated back into their flats and Amy had left for home.

 

Kieren stood upright and Simon did too. They stood in an awkward silence for a minute, Simon’s head aching from the impact of the door, before Kieren uttered a word to sum up the situation.

 

“Christ!”

 

“Yeah.”

 

They both began to laugh.

 

“Kieren, are you okay?”

 

“Fine, fine. Gary harassed my sister, that's why I came, I think.”

 

“Really, oh god!”

 

“You were right about Alex!”

 

“Kieren I didn’t–”

 

“It’s okay, you were right and I should of believed you.”

 

Simon nodded, Kieren had no reason not to trust him.

 

“Is that why you came, you were upset?”

 

“I wanted to come just as much to–.”He stopped himself, Simon knew what he had wanted to do, after all he had done it.

 

Simon rubbed his hand against his swollen lips, god Kieren could kiss.

 

“I’ll go, maybe we can talk tomorrow–” Kieren started.

 

“Stay.”

 

“Okay.”

 

They were kissing again, and Kieren was pushing Simon down the corridor, completely in control.

 

“Hey–where’s–your–room?” Kieren said between kisses.

 

Simon angled them towards a certain door and Kieren pushed them through it.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Both of them woke up at six in the morning, still fully dress, they’d never got undressed. Not yet. Kieren was curled up on his side, with Simon sheltering him for warmth. Kieren roused first, accidentally nudging Simon in the stomach.

 

“Oh, sorry.” Kieren whispered.

 

“That’s okay.”

 

Kieren pulled Simon closer, “I’m sorry I stopped last night, I just didn’t want to–”

 

“Kieren.” Simon whispered, in the way he always said Kieren’s name, “it’s okay.”

 

Kieren nuzzled closer.

 

“What if Alex finds out?”

 

Simon didn’t say anything to reassure Kieren, he couldn’t, Alex finding out was a threat to both of them. Knowing Alex, he could have set up hidden cameras in this very room.

 

“I mean we’re meant to be in a band, you know.”

 

“I know.”

 

“How did we even end up in a band?”

 

Kieren was starting to panic now, Simon cut him off with a squeeze. 

 

They dozed for a little while longer but they were pulled from their serenity when Simon looked at the clock. 7:00. 

 

“Kieren, Amy will be here soon.”

 

Kieren shifted.

 

“Oh God, what if Amy finds out?”

 

Simon chuckled.

 

“Come on you better go get ready, rehearsals will be as gruelling as ever today.”

 

They both crawled out from Simon’s bed and Kieren dashed off to his own flat, peeking out into the corridor to make sure no one could see him.

 

At 7:30 all the band members simultaneously poked their heads out into the corridor, they were all thinking the same thing, _where’s Amy?_ Usually Amy would walk them to the studios at 7:30, but she wasn’t there. Instead all four of them made out together. 

 

“After last nights palaver perhaps she forgot!” Lisa suggested.

 

“What happened last night?” Kieren asked, trying to sound like he didn’t know what she was talking about.

 

“God knows, she came around at about midnight. Was knocking on both of your doors as if there was some sort of emergency. Didn’t you hear?”

 

“No!” Kieren and Simon both said at the same time.

 

Lisa looked at them suspiciously and Harvey practically shouted, “she bloody well woke me up and she wasn’t even knocking on my door.”

 

“Sleeping pills.” Simon answered.

 

“I was just really tired.” Kieren used as his excuse.

 

Both Lisa and Harvey exchanged confused glances but they’d reach the studio and soon all suspicions turned to laments over the busy day. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Usually the band members were scheduled to have a meeting with Amy at 12:30, but today her office was deserted. Kieren began to worry, he hadn’t seen Simon since this morning either. Alex had told their singing coaches Simon was excused from rehearsals today, something about writing. But what if Amy had figured out what Simon had been up to last night and gone straight to Alex? Kieren tried to rationalise with himself. If Amy had told Alex, he’d be in trouble too, right? Alex hadn’t offered up any reason why Amy had missed their meeting, instead he sent them for more rehearsals and warm-ups with Giles. His distrust of Alex was nearly at boiling point.

 

By five, Kieren was in a state of alert. No Simon. No Amy. A broody Alex. There must be something wrong. Or at least that’s what he thought until Alex called him, Lisa and Harvey into Studio 3. As they entered, Kieren saw Simon perched on a stool chatting with Daniel, Alex’s assistant.

 

“As you know Simon hasn’t been participating today,” Alex began. “Mainly because he came raving into my office at eight this morning, begging me to let him have the day off to write a song.”

 

Daniel seated the three band-members across from Simon on a sofa.

 

“At first I thought he was just trying to have a day off, but no he’s actually written something. So over to you Simon.” 

 

Simon pulled up his guitar and Kieren was glad to see it hadn’t taken too much of a beating last night after Simon had dropped it on the floor when Kieren kissed him.

 

“This song is called 10AM Gard du Nord.” Simon said.

 

Simon began to play and Kieren recognised the tune. It was the rhythm between their hearts when they had kissed last night; slow and steady and haunting. This song was for Kieren, as Kieren’s songs were for Rick. Along with the strumming of the guitar Simon began to sing.

 

 

_“This feels right and I'm letting it”_

 

Kieren felt that to.

 

 

 

_“And now I know just what to do”_

 

Trust Simon to be self-assured.

 

 

_“Tire of me if you will, my dear_

_I will not tire of you”_

 

Perhaps not so self-assured?

 

_“And this is the world as I see it now_

_Turns out that nothing is fair”_

 

He directed that at Alex, it went unnoticed by everyone but Kieren.

 

_“You can leave me if you wish, my love_

_But I'm not going anywhere”_

 

Kieren caught Simon’s eye and shook his head, he wasn’t leaving.

 

_“And please do not hurt me, love,_

_I am a fragile one, and you are the white in my eyes_

_Please do not break my heart,_

_I think it's had enough pain to last the rest of my life”_

 

It was too personal this song, personal for them. He didn’t want the others to hear it. He didn’t want himself to hear it, it was like Simon was bleeding out and from his veins came the lyrics.

 

_“Endless distraction, you worry me_

_But I'm trying to figure out how_

_You don't have to make any promises, love_

_I'm afraid I might die for you now”_

 

Kieren rolled his eyes. Simon had already shown himself as a fierce protector but Kieren could handle himself well enough. Simon saw Kieren’s eye roll and smiled before going back into concentration.

 

_“And I'd kill just to watch you as you're sleeping_

_I hope that you'll let me, in time”_

 

He heard Lisa sigh in happiness next to him. The song was that affecting.

 

_“You don't have to call me yours, my love_

_Damn it, I'm calling you mine!”_

 

On that last line, Simon’s voice had become wobbly and filled with woe. Kieren found himself rising from his chair.

 

 

_“And please do not hurt me, love,_

_I am a fragile one, and you are the white in my eyes’_

 

He moved closer to Simon, his eyes welling up, like Rick’s had the night Kieren had sang to him.

 

_“Please do not break my heart,_

_I think it's had enough pain to last the rest of my life”_

 

Simon let out a warning glance to Kieren and indicated to Alex standing in the corner, he was in close conference with Daniel. To close a conference for him to be aware of what Kieren was doing but still Kieren understood Simon’s message, _not here._

 

_“And I will not tire of you”_

 

As the final note trailed off, the last line hung in the air. It encircled Kieren and Simon, so for a moment they could forget everyone else around. It was broken though, when everyone began to clap. 

 

“Wow, Simon.” Amy was standing at the door, like a ghost. 

 

Simon stood up quickly and shot a glance at Kieren.

 

“Kieren, can I speak to you in my office please.” She didn't phrase that as a question merely a demand.

 

Beside him Simon drew a sharp breath. 

 

“Yeah, I’ll be along in a minute.”

 

“It’s actually urgent, do you mind?”

 

Kieren so wanted to stay and praise Simon for his song, but we couldn’t without drawing anymore suspicion. They didn’t need anymore of that. He followed behind Amy quietly and when they reached her office he sat down in an equally quiet manner.

 

“You weren’t in your flat last night, were you?” Amy inquired.

 

Kieren didn’t say anything.

 

“Kieren, Alex found out about what had happened to Jem this morning. And when I rang her she said you’d rushed straight over to her!”

 

Kieren tried to keep a straight face, trust Jem to know when Kieren needed an alibi. She’d been doing it for years when he’d snuck out with Rick.

 

“We’re not angry, next time you should tell us though, okay?”

 

“Yeah, I will!”

 

“Okay, sorry I’ve been gone all morning. I went to The Captain offices to stop them from printing the pictures of Jem. They couldn’t of done so legally anyway, she’s underage, and they weren’t so happy in me reminding them.”

 

“Oh Amy, thank-you!” Kieren felt guilty, while she was out trying to help his family, he’d been thinking she’d betrayed him to Alex.

 

He stood up to go but there was something else on her mind.

 

“Kieren...”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Is Simon seeing anyone?”

 

“What?”

 

“I just want to know, I think he had someone in his flat last night?”

 

“Oh really?” He tried to sound surprised.

 

“Have you seen him with any girls at all?”

 

“Uh...no.” Technically not a lie.

 

“Never mind, I could just be being silly. Go back to the others, I’ve got some work to do.”

 

Kieren dipped out of her office but as soon as he did, strong hands caught him by the waist. It was Simon, pressing him up against the wall and kissing his neck.

 

“Hang on!” Kieren whispered urgently, “she’s right in there.”

 

Simon pulled backwards and let out a sigh.

 

He stammered for a moment and then said, “but then she’ll know.”

 

“Look, okay.” Kieren geared up to take a step forward in their relationship. “If this is something we’re doing...”

 

He looked nervously up at Simon, who nodded in agreement. Yes, this is something they were doing.

 

“...then I don’t want her to find out like this, what if she tells Alex?”

 

“Well then she tells him.”

 

“Simon, if we’re caught you know what will happen!”

 

“We won’t!”

 

“Si–”

 

“Kieren...” Ugh, the way Simon said his name, “...we won’t.”

 

Kieren pressed his head into Simon, “I liked your song.”

 

“Did you?”

 

Kieren mumbled something about Simon’s song being better then his.

 

“Maybe that’s because I haven’t heard a song written for me yet.”

 

“You want me to write you a song?”

 

“Yeah, if you want you can tell Alex you wrote it for a lost love back home, they would get his money grabbing heart going.”

 

Kieren scoffed, Alex would probably set up for his “lost love” to get harassed by photographers. 

 

“Come on, lets go join the others.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY SIREN

**Author's Note:**

> STAY TUNED BECAUSE SOME CRAZY FLUFFY SHIT WILL HAPPEN I PROMISE


End file.
